♥

fallinlove.

If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me. But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.

one world.
two souls, make's one heart.
although two world's apart; somehow connected.
feeling's grow, emotion's change, fears grow.
getting lost, don't know what to do.
how can this make such a bad turn?
i just want to be happy; no matter how hard i try i can't seem to accomplish that.
i just wanna go into the future; take me to the good parts.
get me past this. having such strong feelins; having them hurt you So bad.
my mind going crazy; save me from losing it all, save me from hitting the ground.
so lost.

i havent

i havent written in this in a while, and it's because my life has just been going so fast.
i never have time to write these days.
but today's different.
it's 6:49 and i'm feeling so low, so broken.
tears drop, but i won't tell. i'll try not to let it show this time.
it's always written all over me, but this time i'll keep my head up.
I guess this is how it truly feels to have a broken heart.
so much has been going on, and if only i would have kept updating the things that have happened.
too much now.
just the fact that he let her get the best of me.
he let her ruin us.
he says" i dont understand"
he deny's everything; but i will not be taken for a joke.
i feel like our whole relationship was a lie.
i'll look back and think wow, i gavw that boy my all.
and all i wnat you to realize is, you let her win, you let a girl who doesnt give two fucks about you break down what WE had.
realize when im long gone, that you h a d me;
realize, i would have NEVER gone through what i went with you, with ANY other guy.
& for what....this outcome? this is not what i planned, this is not what i wanted.
but you seee, you dont always get what you want.
And that is a fact.
i have so much to offer.. and you just didnt get it.
maybe one day you'll see what you let slip out of you life.
"the best you ever had"



Once you feel you have everything you ever wanted,
you feel as if your ontop of the world.
Reality check...you can never be ontop of the world!

Nothings ever perfect.
Love isnt real, happiness is rare.

Learning lessons is a part of life.
You learn from your mistakes&know never to make the
same mistakes twice.

I learned from mine.

People say that theyll forgive but wont forget.
I will NEVER forget.

onlysomuch

let me tell you.....

theirs only SO MUCH one can handle

until, that person gives up.

and what will you do when their gone?

wish you had done something differently?

wish you payed attention to the signs, the cries?

what happenn's when it becomes too late?

what will you do?

go back to what your accustomed to?

i can't believe this.

this is NOT what i imagined for myself.

what have i done.

its pouring outside, im inside, music, technology, thoughts.

thinkingtoomuch

so im just gonna write in my blog, cuz im feelinng a bit emotional.
not extra emotional or anything, but just a tad bit.

of course it would be about the boy.
sometimes i just start thinking so much about all the things that could happen with us.
it's not a good think trust me i know.
sometimes i think way too much, i think it effects how the actual outcome is supposed to be.
i can't help it though.
theirs this quote i keep thinking about
"don't leave the one you love, for the one you like, cuz the one you like will leave you for the one they love"
i feel like maybe angie was the one kevin loved, and one day he'll leave me for her, just like he left her for me.
i honestly think me & kevin are so good for eachother.
i've never felt this way for a boy, i just wanna settle down with him, be with him all the time.
he's deffinatley a guy i wanna settle down for.
He lives in L.A & i dont even want to go out how i used to. It make's no sense. i dont know.
But i just hope im not the stupid one in the end. I hope i don't REALLLY get heartbroken from this. Maybe i should just think about the now. right now alll i can live is today.
in the future i guess we shall see....

today

went to kevins house with Ashley, my brother & eric.

It was good to see him and chill.

We also went the other day & slept over at his house. It was a great night with him.

<33

School starts on January 12th,FAWWWk, how am i gonna do it?

i dont know but i know im going to enjoy it.

LAst semester CRAZYYY>.< & it's gonna go hella quick.

then im on my own