OMG

YOUR DRIVING ME INSANE.

YOUR DEFFINATLEY NOT THE PERSON I ONCE KNEW.

EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS, I'M GOING THROUGH MOST OF THE SAME EXACT SHIT YOUR GOING THROUGH.

YOU MAY NOT NOTICE BUT ME BEING THE FUCKING CLOSEST PERSON TO YOU DOES.

YOU PLAY GUILT TRIPS & YOU WANT PITY.

ITS ANNOYING. EVERYTHING I SAY YOU WANNA COMPETE WITH.

EVERYTHING HAS TO BE SOMETHING SAD NOW.

OKAY IF YOUR DEPREESSSED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.

SO IS EVERYONE ELSE.

SO STOP WITH THE FUCKIN SAD BULLSHIT & GET THE FUCK OVER IT.

ITS LIFE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT.

YOUR NOT ALONE.

YOUR MAKING YOURSELF FEEL DEPRESSED AND ALONE & I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THE FUCK YOU DO IT.

I WISH YOU COULD SEE, YOUR BECOMIGN LESS & LESS THE PERSON YOU ONCE WERE.

IDK IF YOUR TRYING TO PUSH PEOPLE AWAY.?

:['

In today’s grueling society, many of us are locked into the idea that we simply can not always get what we want. In most cases, we have no idea where to find the clear-cut path to happiness. Nevertheless, there is one without a doubt. It’s only a matter of time, patience, and a good sense of perseverance that will get the results we desire. New towns bring new opportunities. New people can open the doors to these opportunities. Yet it seems that we are all held so far behind from this path because of everyone elses negativity. It is everywhere and almost uncontrollable. It functions like a contagious virus that leads to depression, then laziness, then eventually nothingness. Negativity only spawns wasted time. It is the only thing that is blinding us from seeing the road to our own euphoria. The idea of going around this seems remarkable. But giving in to it by spreading this dreadful energy will only lead to one’s own demise. I live my life day to day through this philosophy. And I believe it is truly possible to get what you want, no matter how tremendous the prize. As for tomorrow's mystery, it will be only as good as you make it ..
-stephen nubani.

they had so much to live for.
i cant help but cry.
=[

"All around me are familiar facesWorn out places, Worn out facesBright and early for the daily racesGoing nowhere, Going nowhereTheir tears are filling up their glassesNo expression, No expressionHide my head I want to drown my sorrowNo tomorrow, No tomorrow"
-mad world.lastsong on rj's page

"god send"
on andres's page.


♥

“ Sometimes you have to be a high-riding bitch to survive. Sometimes being a bitch is all a woman has to hold onto. "Dolores Claireborne, Stephen King

whether we like it or not.

lifee;

And now more deaths have come upon us.

R.i.p Andres, Rj.

I'm glad i got to know you two.

Andres i'll never forget all the texts & how sweet you were.

I DO believe in fate.

The day we met.

Me & Ashley were not plannning to see ray at all.We were out and about with money and fame i think, and for some reason ray kept texting me telling me to meet up with him.

i didn't think it'd actually happen. but "coincidencally ray, rj, and andres were by the mall just like us. They told us they'd pick us up. So we get dropped off at Albertsons. They come and this is the day me and ashley truly meet them.

We went to the lake. How random, on the first night we met. It was all around good vibes. They we're so funny. All i can remember is laughs from that night. Andres told me i'd seen him at a party before, he asked me to dance, and i said he was too short. "blame it on the alcohol" =[. Andres you'd never be too short.

I miss you guys truly.

& you'll forever be in my hearts.

I realized that when i was little i never thought of the things you'd see throughout your life.But thats just it.It's life, you're going to see everything that is has to offer, and what it has in store.You're going to see death's of people you'd NEVER think would leave you, you'll lose friends, and gain friends you'd never think you'd meet,certain things in life will show you what you truly believe in, you'll realize that their probably has only been one friend in your life that you know you can always count on. Your gonna go through countless guys until you find someone for you. Your gonna get your heartbroken. But everyone dies,people change, feelings change, you grow up, everything changes.& THATS LIFE.i'm gonna look at this as inspiration to do m best & to be a better person.If you tell me i cant, im gonna tell you watch me.I hate people that doubt me.I wont let you convince me i wont make it.i will be somebody.& ill do it all for me.

rip also to araceli & stephen.

i didnt know you but im sure your friends, loved ones, and families will miss you all.

Ray; i love you so much, you're such a good person. Im sorry you've lost 6 of your friends.

& two of your bestones at that. You deserve more, and i know you can't see this.

But....keep your head up♥

todaysanewdayy.

Horoscope: September 26th, 2009

"You're used to days that pass as a coherent series of logical events, like a well-lit staircase leading into night. Today will be more like an obstacle course in a jungle. You live from moment to moment. "

perfeect for today.

<3

tonights gonna' be a goood night<3

tonights gonna' be a good night<3

tonights gonna' be a good night<3

Do you?

Do you ever have one of those day's where you think it's going to be so good, and it take's a turn for the worse. & you wish & hope it gets better but it keeps going downhill.
Today, September 24th. was theee worst.
Just got worse & worse as the day went along...
I wanna know what i do to deserve this shit sometimes.
It get's old.
I hate days like these, it feel's like the longest day ever.

i hate today.

cute quote:"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction."♥
if only.

quoteee.

"I like things that I like, but I love everything. There's more choice in like. Because even the worse things have things to love in them.. I love things so much I feel I could float away."

people

Ugh; people make me so mad.

They think they can just talk shit all the damn time.

I'm no saint, & i deffinatley take part in shit-talking.

Does that make me a hypacrite? YES!. but so are all you damn bitches.

Especially when you talk shit about people using rumors.

Things you THINK are tru And have NO proof. It disguists me that people have no feelings.

They don't care how you're feeling. They only care about the wealth of their own being.

& thats why karma's a bitch. Im a big believer in karma.

Karma;definition:[n]
Hinduism & Buddhism. The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny.
Fate; destiny.
Informal. A distinctive aura, atmosphere, or feeling: There's bad karma around the house today.

I read this book Ashley let me borrow, "thirteen reason's why". I loved it so much. One of my favorite books i have read so far. Mostly because it's thought's i can relate to, and im sure alot of other people as well. I never thought i could cry in a book.

It gives me hope to know that i HAVE thought these things and in my case i'd nevr have the balls to follow through with it. I guess in a sense that makes me strong.

boys; at the moment. Their are none.

I don't know whether this makes me upset, or happy. i mean it isn't a bad thing to not have someone.

It doesnt mean im less then other girls & less deserving.....does it?

sometimes i need the reassurance. some times i do feel lonely.

& theirs a BIG differnce between lonely & desperate so please don't let me be misunderstood.

turns out. i dont forgive you.

fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice shame on me.

but what happens when you fooled me the third time.

broke me down.

i can't stand it anymore.

the whole trying to find someone thing is not me. im just not made for someone.

♥

horoscopeee.

Taking few risks is not a guarantee that you will have a safe journey through life.

♥

id like to

....i'd like to think.

Saturday was cool. went out. just hung out with friends.

The usual.

Went to barnes & noble today. Ah i LOVE books. i think their amazing.

When i have my own house i want a library lmao like a huge colorful one. It'd be so pretty.

Ugh it bugs me so much that He was the one to say goodbye first.

It's like those movies, where you're planning on breaking up with him & he does it first.

You just wanna yell "NO I WAS GONNA DO IT FIRST"

You may have got the last laugh, but i laugh the loudest.

Trust me.

♥

It wont be the end;

you'll see..

goodbye.

edit.

Daily Singles:
It's easy to get down on yourself if it's been a while since you've met someone who's interested in you or whom you're interested in. There's nothing wrong with you.

"You're just in a romantic slow period."

♥

&&' i think this is the truest "dail single" horoscope i've ever gotten.

Sometimes i do feel like, "what's wrong with me"

This made me gain a little :h o p e.

xoxo.

ahhh...ideeeeekay

so, i'm a little confused on what to do?

Okay, like we're not techniqually "talking"... but we're "talking"

hmm i don't really know if that really makes sense.

hmm something about the absense of his presence makes me sad.

idunno if its that i TRULY like him, or i need someone their to get me through the days?

we talk all the time, and he ALWAYS make's the initiative, but sometimes i get mad and think like where the fuck is she? like why do you need me here..

I'm going to stop responding to him & see how he responds towards me.

i've heard once you pull away, they pull in.

hahaha. funny how it works.

ahhh school's been whatever.

Nocturnal's in

9 dayssssss

heeeeeeeeeeeey♥;

i can't wait.

i bought blue & white boot covers.

i'm saving money to buy white fishnets a blue bow and jewelry for the face. lmao.

its kinda sadddd how all this moneys waisteddd on raving, but it's so worth it.

=]....

but god do i have alottttt of neccessities.

haa.

...i cant give in.

& to you.

& not in that way "my heart will always belong to you"
as in a friend.
i know you understand that though.
you understand everything.
ps. i misss you.
come home.

thats all for today.

xoxo....

taylor.

<3

on the side....

ewww, so the one friend i actually care about has been showing my an ugly annoying side.

and i don't know, it's kinda irritating me.

It's like if we're not speaking now, what makes you think we'll stay friends in the future.?

Um, school, is school.

It's beggining to turn into winter & i HATE it.

i need winter clothes and all that bullshit.

winter's fucking gay. like theirs no way to enjoy it

feels good.

It feels good, to have NO ATTACHMENTS.

To be completely free & on your own.

At first it feels i m p o s s i b l e.

But time flys by & the pain becomes bearable.

I guess it really means something when they say"sleep on it"

I woke up happy. & OVER it.

=]

I dont need anyone to live my life, or to make me happy.

i myself can make me happy, nd' only i can choose the path i want to be on.

happiness; my definition

-always keeping your head up, never letting things get to you.

♥

NOCTURNAL 16 days.

& counting.........

today wassss whatever.

schools LAME.

hahaa.

byeeeee.

<3333

my mind makes quotes.

"Some cause happiness wherever they go;

others, whenever they go. I can't tell if it's when you come or go when I'M happiest"

♥

breakdown

how many times will i be broken down.

i dont want to feel pain anymore.

i cried yesterday.

i just feel ill never be good enough.

ill always be second best

:[.

when will i get my chance.

i dont wanna feel this way.

i feel less than great.

This girl started talking to me today

& she feels the same way.

its easy talking to someone who knows what i mean.

thanks you really helped today girl.

tomorrow. hm. lets hope i feel a little better.

=/

Bit in the ass.

Went in with two, went out with none, & that's the way life works.

Karma's a bitch; i got bit in the ass.

Um friday was funnnn.[=

no complaints.

Saturday; Lost City Of Atlantis.

It was really funn, they had bomb music all night. Alot of my favorite songs.

"heartbreaker MSTRKRFT""Man on the fun DASH BERLIN"

♥

ahhhh it was amazing.

Can't wait for nocturnal.

Um so went upstairs talked to aria, & i was sooo mistaken on my feelings.

how i usually am lol, but he's just NOT what i want in a guy.

What i did realize was kevin was. I just don't like to say anything cuz it's impossible.

& i'm not even gonna say my feelings for someone when i have them for now on , cuz their always wrong maybe if i was secretive they'd be better?

But things with kevin were so good, untill the girl came in the picture. It hurt when i saw him that night, and it sucks i saw him alot....with her. =/ ugh.

I texted him saying i guess were done then.

& hes like "im so so sorry:["

yeah im sorry too, sorry for giving effort, sorry for trying all the time.

I dont know what it is, when your nice, you get NOTHING in return, when your a bitch it works?

idk but through it all i had ashley... thats my girl.

♥ i love you.

Quickie
If you just say something nasty and walk away, the problem isn't really solved.
Overview
Now is a really great time to take care of your health in a positive way. Get organized, track information and walk up an extra flight of stairs -- you have what it takes to make things work better for you.

bYE

No Guarenteeeees

The Crazy thing about life....is it come's with no guarentess.

You aren't guaremteed anything. You have to work for what you want & its not easy.

I'm so determined to have a good life, and make something outta myself.

But it's gonna be so hard.I really wish i could have done better with school.

Moneys really everything. I found out i wanna go to SDSU. San diego state university.

it's like my fream school now, and i'd do anything to get in.

The college life is something i've always dreamed about.

I think im going for criminal justice & psycology. gonna be alot of work.

but "i just wanna be, i just wanna be successfull"-drake.♥

haha.

"She said she wanna have a family, raise kid's someday;

Like out in Beverly Hills, She wanna live someday.♥"

-NAS

Mhm. So yesterday, kevin asks for forgiveness blah blah blah, he miss me & all this.

It sucks like why can't i have someone that's always here.

i NEED that support & this is just not gonna work for me.

& it's crazy to think that what im trying to get outta aria.

But it's crazy when you see it from a different perspective.

Aria's thinking what im thinking with kevin & im thinking what kevins thinking with me for aria

BAHAHA damn confusing.

Aria makes me feel stupid. :[

& i hate it; he just got me, no joke.,

I KNOW. distance fucks everything up.

He always tell me he wished i lived their. & i should move.

But i don't even think he's serious like i would be.

Im so serious when i say im saving a spot for him.

like i wanna try it with him i just feel like something good can come out of it & it it doesnt at least we had something once. i just wantt him.

He's so fucking smart, & different & i love that, it attracts me so much.

♥

DAMMIT IM R E T A R D E D.

=[

fuckkkk;

i should just not think of any boys at all.

im always without one.why should i need one.

welll, it's almost friday hallefuckinlujah lmao.♥

goodbye.

=]

.blast from the past.

So, We're officialy...."done", he kinda made it more difficult for me with guys again.

Like how many times is it gonna be? why is god doing this to me?

i dont u n d e r s t a n d.

MMMM. So Eddie Acosta came back to our school.

Kinda weird. lol it's like he was gonee forreverr & all of the sudden he's back into my life.

It's nice to see him again.

Atlantis, FOUR DAYS.

i really wanna see aria.

suprisingly. wait that's not a surprise.

lmao.

♥

ahh dont have much to say today.

bye.<3